Fall From Grace

Art by kernel

  a fanmix for Walking The Maze by Mab Browne

By PsychGirl

Art by Kernel

Listen or take it with you

1) That’s All – Genesis

Just as I thought it was going all right
I find out I’m wrong when I thought I was right
It’s always the same, it’s just a shame, that’s all

Blair opened his mouth to demand explanations, to berate Jim, and then his mouth snapped shut because he’d thought he was in the Twilight Zone when he’d seen Alex driving, at ease and in control? That was before Alex laid her hand on Jim’s thigh and Jim rested his hand over it.

2) How Can I Resist Her? – Split Enz

Blonde hair, blue eyes
She came on like a white lie
My wicked angel in mortal disguise
There's one in every crowd
Gonna make me shout aloud
How can I resist her?

“You’ve gone from her presence in Cascade being all wrong to holding hands in the car like two kids going to the prom. You want to tell me how that one worked out, because I don’t get it.”

3) Addicted to Love – Robert Palmer

Your lights are on, but you’re not home
Your mind is not your own
Your heart sweats, your body shakes
Another kiss is what it takes
You can’t sleep, you can’t eat
There’s no doubt, you’re in deep
Your throat is tight, you can’t breathe
Another kiss is what you need

He came out of the bathroom to see Jim and Alex kissing. Blair remembered the time that he’d come upon Jim and Laura McCarthy in that nightclub cloakroom. Jim looked just as lost, just as focused on Alex’s skin.

4) Not Ready To Make Nice – Dixie Chicks

I’m not ready to make nice
I’m not ready to back down
I’m still mad as hell and I don’t have time
To go round and round and round
It’s too late to make it right
I probably wouldn’t if I could
‘Cause I’m mad as hell
Can’t bring myself to do what it is you think I should

Blair grabbed Jim’s arm and hissed, “This finishes right now, Jim. I don’t give a flying fuck what’s happening, it stops. Is it pheromones? Because you dealt with that with Laura; you can deal with this now, and just turn the fuck around, man.”

5) Following – Bangles

You call me a loser
You call me a shadowing fool
Look over your shoulder
And you say I’m haunting you
So why do you call me?
Why do you look for me?
Why do your eyes follow me the way they do?

Instead, he loomed over Blair, his face twisted with anger and with something that sent a bolt through Blair because it looked way too much like the crazy intensity he’d seen between the two sentinels.

6) Draw Your Swords – Angus and Julia Stone

So come on love
Draw your swords
Shoot me to the ground
You are mine, I am yours
Let’s not fuck around

Alex shifted, snake-quick, and her hand stabbed down to close around Jim’s neck in a grip that made Blair wince, all thoughts of sex forgotten. Jim was strong, probably knew a dozen covert ops tricks to loosen her hold, but the throat was vulnerable. Jim, lying under Alex, was vulnerable.

7) Shiver – Maroon 5

There may not
Be another way to your heart
So I guess I’d better find a new way in
I shiver when I hear your name
Think about you but it’s not the same
I won’t be satisfied ‘til I’m under your skin.

Jim’s hands slid against Blair’s torso, a firm, sure touch and Blair thought dazedly that Jim’s hands must be rubbing against Alex’s body too. She was so close, as close in front as Jim behind him, and Blair was consumed with heat with no way of being sure if it belonged to the bodies enveloping him, or was his own want.

8) Feel – Matchbox 20

And now you’ve crossed that line
You can’t come back
Tell me how does it feel now?
It’s too late too much to forget about
Can’t stop now
How does it feel now?
I’m only asking because I want to know
How you want to feel

The United States dropped away behind them, home being left behind, and Blair had known that feeling before – but on all those other occasions he’d had a lot more confidence about what was ahead.

9) Maps and Legends – R.E.M.

Maybe he’s caught in the legend
Maybe he’s caught in the mood
Maybe these maps and legends
Have been misunderstood

Jim stood, both of them staring at contour lines, while Blair stared at the two sentinels. “There?” Jim said, stooping to point his index finger across a green space on the map. Alex placed her hand over his, her blue eyes unfocused, and their hands moved together and then stopped.

10) Red Rhythm Dragon – James Asher

[instrumental]

She was crouched over her backpack, exhaustion impressed into every line of her, but she still looked longingly further into the jungle. One more night’s sleep and then another hike through unknown miles of jungle, according to her and Jim, and then they’d be at the temple, and Alex couldn’t wait, no matter how much tangled, verdant growth she had to force her way through.

11) Swim – Madonna

I can’t carry these sins on my back
Don’t wanna carry anymore
I’m gonna carry this train off the track
I’m gonna swim to the ocean floor
Crash to the other shore
Let the water wash over you
Wash it all over you
Swim to the ocean floor

Jim stared blindly at the ceiling, his chest heaving as if he was running a race. When Jim shouted, Blair flinched in shock and surprise. “No! That is not me!” Jim was silent after that, still wide-eyed and unseeing, unheeding of Blair’s soft, frantic repetitions of his name.

12) Coming of The Wolf – Steve Gordon and Deborah Martin

[instrumental]

Fear prickled over Blair’s skin, and he stood. What were the odds, he wondered, of the man or men outside being fellow scholars? Wouldn’t that be a trip? He took a deep breath. His luck simply couldn’t be that good. He stooped and took Alex’s gun in his hand, and with quick, nervous strides he headed for the temple entrance.

13) I Never Left You – Dave Dobbyn

There's no emotion in a world without you
And I never left you
With my devotion like a light inside you
And I'll never let you down
You know, I hope it springs eternal from the faces of these angels here
But I can't let you down
Into the dungeons of a life lived under fear and pleading
I can't let you go

Blair’s hands flew up, extra emphasis for his irritation. “The part where you don’t get shanked in the prison lunch line, if they don’t keep you in solitary for your own protection until you go insane! I can’t believe that we’re even having this part of the conversation! We should be working out an explanation that’s going to have even half a chance standing up to the cops – Mexican, US, whoever!”

14) Fall From Grace – Tim Finn

Sometimes we’re perfect strangers
Other times we’re a family
Holding a mirror up to
The best and worst in me
And the story has no moral
It’s an endless fall from grace
Leaving lines of joy and sorrow
On your face

“Christ, you are such a smart ass,” Jim muttered. “Another reflection of a quality within yourself in another,” Blair said, and received an instant ‘message understood’ signal in the form of Jim’s raised middle finger. But the gesture was accompanied by a small, unwilling smile from Jim, and Blair raised his hands like someone receiving applause.

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